June 19

Is there anything more absorbing than the World Cup? Every four years, my wife googles the names of some divorce lawyers in town in anticipation of this tournament. Anyone can beat anyone else on any given day, as some of the favourites are finding out!

Switzerland proved to be a very hard nut to crack for Brazil, and the boys in Green and Gold could not deliver a knockout blow, settling for a one-all draw. Neymar’s new haircut has been praised and vilified at the same time.

Neymar had a makeover before Sunday’s match with Switzerland (Felipe Dana/AP)

Supporters say that it is the famed Golden Fleece of Greek legend, and that Neymar wears it as a badge of courage. Critics say that they finally found that missing part of their BATH MAT they were looking for. Either way, it couldn’t disguise the fact that Brazil may be becoming a little too dependent on him. The only one who looked like breaking the tie was Roberto Firmino, who came on as a substitute after inexplicably not starting.  The only reason I could imagine is that he would have to replace young striker Gabriel Jesus, and the coach did not want to field pesky questions from reporters about the Liverpool man deserving to start because he was “better than Jesus”.

Meanwhile, Serbia defeated Costa Rica on a free kick missile from Aleks Kolarov that gets better with every look. Sweden took out the Koreans as captain and central defender Andreas Granqvist took charge of the decisive penalty himself to lift his team to a one-nil win. Belgium started the tournament in full throttle, thumping the debutantes from Panama three-nothing and starting to look a cohesive unit with the moving parts clicking together nicely…. for now.

And what of the new-look “three lions” of England? It took a last-minute goal from the “Harricane” to seal the three points for England, but in truth the game should have been miles out of reach before then. Is anyone in the England midfield going to step in and hammer that ball into the net? No? No takers? NO ONE wants to score from a midfield position? Oh, all right… I guess it’ll just have to be Harry, then.

Which brings us to our defending champions, the Germans. Was it just me, or have their defensive duo of Boateng and Hummels been tucking into the ‘ Wienerschnitzel’ a little too often? German coach Joachim Löw must be held accountable for two compelling reasons:  a) Fielding almost the EXACT same side as he did four years ago and  b) Not only wearing a GIRL’S T-SHIRT, but ordering his assistant coach to wear the exact same thing !

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Down with autocratic fashion choices!  The Mexicans threw everything they had at Germany, and were deserved winners, one to nothing. Perhaps the real reason for their success is that they are being guided by the tireless energy and magic powers of Hector Herrera, perhaps already known to viewers as DOBBY from Harry Potter.

Image result for hector herreradobby

Can’t wait for the action to continue- I’m already LOVING this tournament! Sleep well, footy fans!  – Billy Tibbs

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